God, what exactly am I to be doing with my life. I know where I am is where I am supposed to be, but there are so many loose strings dangling all over the place. I am often overwhelmed with myself. Sometimes, others doubts infiltrate my mind and make me feel so weak. Please be my strength.
This work is hard. I feel like a failure because nothing seems to change. I feel like a bully because I am tough on my future testimony. If, I am in fact being to hard on him, convict me to the greatest extent, but correct me so I can change. It is not my heart to cause him anymore harm than what he already knows.
For the first time, I am imagining what it is like to be him. As, I sit on my bed, I am filled with tears to imagine what has happened to him. Worse than imaging is experiencing. He is so young. he is so young. Please fill my heart with compassion for him. When his anger rises, and his pain overflows allow me to serve him peace. I don’t want to be his parent nor a friend. I want to be exactly what he needs. God, please just love on him. When he is alone let him know your peace. When he feels so rejected let him know your peace. When he feels unlovable let him know he is loved.
I send out angels to his room to protect him. Let no malicious or fear inducing thought awake him this night, but allow your peace to overflow in his room. I pray that when he awakens for the new day, he awakes with hope for his future. God, give him a future.
I pray all this in Christ’s name,