Only Time Will Tell

One of the best things about working as a communal foster parent is that my desire for a significant other is fading. Years, I’ve obsessed about having a boyfriend and getting married. Perhaps, I thought a relationship was the greatest purpose I could submit my life to. It is not. It really isn’t. It has been my prayers for so long that if God doesn’t want me to marry, I would be content in whatever He wants me to do. Honestly, I am. I really am.

I love my kids. As, I begin to ponder what I could be doing in a years time I answer with an honest, I don’t know. All I know is that comparing October 2012 to October 2011 there are a lot of things in the grand scheme of life that do not matter.

  • My mistake of an evening with Jarrod, doesn’t really matter. I didn’t sleep with him, heck I didn’t even kiss him. I simply made myself emotionally vulnerable to a guy who is not one for emotions.
  • Homecoming Court was an awesome experience. Let’s be honest though, it is a big pageant. It’s something you reminisce about, but it doesn’t truly change anyone’s life.
  • Whether or not I go to graduate school right after college. I don’t think I would have loved being in school now.
  • College friendships. I don’t know why I made such a big deal about them. I knew some great people. Had some great times and now it is over. Some relationships could have lasted longer, but they didn’t.

I wonder what won’t matter next year.

Honestly, I guess the point of this is, there are few things that really matter continually. What I was so up in arms about last year is completely irrelevant now. What and who matters now, will matter forever. I don’t think I will ever forget any of my kids. I don’t want to. All, I know is my kids matter to me the most.

Thus is life.


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