While I’ve been in Texas, I am inadvertently “finding myself”. I didn’t know that I didn’t know myself. I think I knew parts of myself, but am discovering the depth at which I hold things important me. I haven’t normally attended church in three months. I have visited Lakewood, went to a Joyce Meyer conference, attended the Spanish service at Grace Community, and saw David Crowder at Ecclasia. That is the extent of my church participation in the past three months. This may seem like a lot compared to the C.E.O. Christians (Christmas and Easter Only), but let me fill you in on my involvement in church back home.
I attended East West Church on Sundays. The early service, I listened to the message. Then the afternoon service I served as a worship leader for the middle school/high school ministry. On Tuesdays, I attended The Living Room, Buckhead Church’s college ministry and was on the student leadership team there. I also had small group that met on Wednesday. Then on Saturday, I led an intimate Bible study with two other girls. Everyday, I was thoroughly in the Word. My life was not perfect, but I was ever-present in the extended arms of a strong, holy, sovereign God. I was pursuing God and he was there.
It is not that He has left me in Houston. I know He is here with me. He is still my number one priority while I am here, but I have found it is impossible to properly do the will of God without being in His community of believers. More so, it is impossible to carry out tasks without God being the focal point of my life. Yesterday, I attended a service at Ecclesia Church. I am still trying to decide where God wants me. However, when I returned home I felt restored. The health I have been so lacklusterly attempting was restored. I awoke and did what I needed to do. I took a long walk and just spent time worshiping God. I sang aloud. I sang loud. I just spent this time separate from everyone else and distraction free.
I am reminded I am nothing absolutely nothing without God. My life is nothing without not only His influence but total control.