It Might Be Too Soon…a.k.a. “In the Circle”

Casa Round 2 090If you randomly read a post on my blog you will know I am a communal foster parent. I live/work in a house with 3 other women and one lovely lady who works in the house Monday to Friday. I genuinely thank God for them.

I remember being in my bedroom back home and praying over them. I remember the peace I got when I knew everything would be okay. If I had terrible roommates it would be a lesson in patience and a total blessing. If I got wonderful roommates it would be a lesson in relationships and a total blessing. Luckily I was blessed with the latter and I just want to take some time to mention them and let you know why they are so amazing.

If you know me to any degree, I am probably walking the thin line of hilarious and obnoxious. I am loud most of the time. I have a particular love of histrionics and theatrics. I am prone to break out into song and/or dance at any given time. I don’t take life to seriously, except for the serious stuff. I have the romantic aptitude of a 12-year-old girl, both enthralled by men, but still completely disgusted (I like to call it the cootie conundrum). I love Jesus a lot. Like a lot a lot. Now, if you used to know me somethings have recently changed. I am outspoken and when I have something meaningful to say I will be heard. I am not fearful of differing opinions. I will defend myself.

All these aspects of who I am have been seen in the past 3 months by these 4 women. A number of aspects of who I am have been shaped by knowing these women. They surpass the simple title of coworker. To simply label them as coworkers is a slap in the face to their significance in my life, and the nature of our relationship. I don’t want to call them friends. While, there are elements of friendships in our relationship, too much of our lives overlap to simply be friends. I definitely cannot call them life partners. While we parent together, we are not together.

These women are in the circle. They are always in the circle, even when our kids are not in the circle. Honestly, all of them are crazy in the best of ways. I couldn’t imagine parenting with any other people. I think part of our closeness is too be attributed to the first found of “future children” we had. Everyday was a war in our house. A six-year-old called me a “black bitch”. I am 22. Never, has anyone called me that before…except our six-year-old. None of us would have survived that group if it were not for one another. Most nights we would plop on the couches out of exhaustion, and just laugh at what was said and done. I don’t condone children using curse words, but at 11PM all you can do is laugh when you want to cry.

These women work for the unity of our house. We eat together once a week, not because we have to but because we want to. Because we are the only ones who will tell ourselves that this job is about the kids, but it also about us. We are not a Utopian circle unit. We have disagreements. We have bad days. We sometimes shut each other out, but never push each other out. We sometimes bum it. We grate at each other’s nerves. We are humans. We are humans having the best human connection with other humans while caring for these younger humans. We are all so beautifully and intricately different. We are all beautiful. We are all intricate.

God, thank you so much for the ladies who dwell in the circle. Thank you for crafting them to be the most understanding, kind, and hilarious people. Thank you for allowing me to know them, live with them, and do life with them. Thank you for our light spirits and deep conversations. Thank you for the belly laughs we have daily. Thank you for their constant transparency.

God, thank for allowing them to come at the time they did.

I pray we remain humble in all we do. I pray that in times of conflict we remember why we are here and that essentially we are all striving for the same thing (our kids). I pray that we can be attentive to each others needs. I pray that we will be attentive to each others need for space, affection, affirmation, independence, and consolation. I pray our lips overflow with kind words. I pray our actions show our love for one another and our home. Do not let pride dwell and let not our egos swell. Let us learn from each other.

Honestly, words could not express how appreciative I am of these women. Thank you for creating them so masterfully.

In Your Name,



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