Daughter

I can’t wait to have a daughter. I know it is in the far future, but I really, really hope to have a daughter. I don’t know why I want a daughter more than a son, but I have always wanted girls. Maybe it is the feminist in me. I would like a son. I don’t have anything against having a son. I guess I’m just a woman’s woman.

Literally, being a woman is the second role I play in life . Christian being the first. I enjoy my womanhood. Actually, I think being a woman is awesome. Buzzfeed had a list of 18 Reasons why Women are the Best, but I can think of a million more. As a woman, I want to pass on the joys of being a woman. Time will inform her the pains of being a woman.

I want to teach her that being a woman is like getting to be a thousand different people wrapped in complete and utter beauty. I want to teach her that she can be loud, quiet, strong, meek, hilarious, serious, and it is totally acceptable. I want to share my spirit of adventure with her. I want to send her off into jungle or the big city or the quietness of the country. I want her to see the world. I want to be the type of mom who wants her daughter to see the world. I want to be the mom that tells her little woman that motherhood is awesome, but there is so much more that can happen before that step. I want to let her know she has the power to hold a human life inside of her. I want her to feel like she never has to be inferior to men. She is just as smart, hard-working, diligent, powerful, and ambitious as any other boy. I want her to give the men a run for their money. I want her be the type of woman, where men don’t know if they are scared of her or kind of attracted to her (that last one is the way I think most men see me, sometimes).

In my heart is a burden for girls everywhere. We are devalued, but priceless. We are silent, but brilliant. We are meek, but grand. To some extent that is how I envision myself. I would not say that I am like most girls. I never noted myself as particularly girly. I wouldn’t call myself a lady just quite yet. I am a woman. I am proud to be a woman. I think that is why I want daughters. I want to see them become women. Women who are not afraid to be adventurous. Women who know the odds are stacked against them in every possible way, but still press forward. Women who know that crimes are committed against them; injustices arise towards them; stereotypes remain that attempt to hinder them, but blaze a trail for the women that will follow them. Yeah, girls are more costly than boys. Girls will probably have more emotional frenzy than boys. And, sadly, there will be a day where a man asks my daughter out on a date, and I will have to practice restraint and not shut him down. However, I look forward to that will glee.

Dear daughter(s),

Whether you are in my belly or in someone else’s or already out in the world, I look forward to meeting you. I think you are going to be awesome. I don’t know what situation you will come from. I am sure it will be something difficult, but I look forward to being your mother. Please bear with me in this process. I have had some practice, but honestly, I still don’t really know what I am doing. Please know whatever you want to be when you grow up is totally okay with me. Whether it is a stay at home mom or an astronaut I totally support you. My only request for you is that you find a way to be something amazing. Don’t let any boy or lie take away your sense of God-given purpose in this world. People will try to belittle you. Society still hasn’t figured out how awesome we are. That doesn’t matter, but I have told you constantly how awesome you are. More importantly, God loves you. The Bible is riddled with tons of stories about how God has used women in both traditional and nontraditional gender roles. I’m sure I am going to give you a spiel on this all the time, but it originally comes from this blog post a year ago PRE-SEMINARY (yes, yes, your mom was kind of smart in her 20’s…just kidding…I’m sure I’m going to tell you a plethora of mistake stories as well). Back to the point, God can bless you in so many ways. Just listen to his voice. Allow him to lead you. Don’t be like your mom and make the same mistakes I made. Submitting to men is hard; submitting to God is even harder, but at least you can trust God. Alright mi niñas, mama needs to clean her room and begin packing for her trip to London (yes, I went to London for no reason). I love you, wherever you are. I look forward to meeting you soon. I’m praying for you already.

God, keep my girls safe. Amen.

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