When you are a size 18, shopping for pants is one of the evil reminders that we live in a fallen and sinful world. It is as if pant makers do not know that my larger waist might include large hips, which might include an average bottom, that leads into bigger thighs, that descend into some toned calves. No, either pant makers assume everything is large and getting bigger or that you are an ice cream cone getting smaller at the bottom. For this reason, I have bought nothing but skirts and dresses. I have perhaps, 15 dresses and 20ish skirts that I wear in rotation. With them, as long as they fit my waist I am solid. I have maxis. I have midis. I have minis. I love them all, because apart from shaving, the little frustrations of pants are dissolved. Also, they offer a great breeze.
However, I need pants. I love pants. I love not having to shave. I may wear skirts frequently, but it only because I refused to buy pants. I remember going outlet shopping with my family as a teenager and be so unable to find clothing for myself. I remember breaking down into tears in dressing rooms, unable to fit into pants and looking into the stark lights of the mirror as it reflected my body. As, we returned home and my siblings celebrated their findings, I just went to my room to be alone. It contemplate my fatness.
Walking in to Old Navy on Friday, I did not expect to find anything. I was hoping for maybe a pair of boyfriend jeans at the most. They offer more room for me to move around and don’t create the rubber donut of fat around my waist. The last time, I tried on bottoms I was an 18/20. So, I grabbed a couple of size 18 pants (a couple 18 longs) and shuffled to the dressing room. I tried them on. I turned and looked at them. Something doesn’t look right about these pants…They fit, super easily, really easily, but they were not flattering. I walked out an asked the attendant her opinion. Excuse me miss, what are your thoughts on these pants? The attendant crinkled her face as she looks me up and down. I am prepared for the worst. I think you might need to go down a size. What? I grab a 16, try it on and she it right. Everything fit much better.
I ended up purchasing 5 bottoms, one of them being a skirt because well, I love skirts, but it was a positive experience. This is one of the minor reasons that desire to continue working out, because a fearful experience is now normal.
I don’t know how many pounds I have lost, and won’t know until March 8, but I am glad to have completed two months worth of exercise and eating better.
Yay for a positive post.