Breakdowns

My alarm goes off at 6:30am. I sit up and open the Bible laying next to me. Isaiah one and two. God’s Word saturates my soul. The exhausted eyes find life in words riddled with life. I close my eyes to see my Father. His face is ever-present. He directs me to every classroom at my job. I lift prayers to the heavens, knowing God’s ears are perked to listen to the supplications of His children, especially when they are aligned to His will.

I leave two hours later, prepared for what I know lies before me: to prepare kids for camp, to meet with the managers, to love, to serve, to care. Then my car overheats in the middle of the highway. I pull to the side. I wait. I go. I pull to the side. I wait. I go. I pull to the side. I wait. What is typically a 20 minute commute has stretched to a 80 minute experience. Eventually, I parked a couple blocks away and walked to work.

My mother calls. She is six hours further along in the day. I don’t know how she is able to absorb all my tears, but she does. My friend drives us to the meeting. On the drive back, we just pray.

This is not the part of the story, where my car is miraculously fixed or everything gets better. My car is parked at work for the next several days, and I am once again reliant on the graciousness of people to take me places and the graciousness of my job to allow me to have my car repaired on the property.

This is the part of the story, where I just vent. I have spent so much money on cars it is ridiculous. Since, I moved to Houston, I have probably spent $7,000 making repairs on vehicles. It is bankrupting me and keeping me from achieving financial goals for 2016. This is on top of this new repair bill, I need to pay DTS in 2 weeks, so I can return to school this semester. And, if God could just miraculously fix my car, that would be great. If He just answered that ONE prayer everything would be better.  He didn’t. He answered a different one.

As, I prayed, returning from the meeting, I remember saying this, “God let me see evidences of your grace.” This is the prayer God answered. I could focus on my car and how I am ready to find a new way to commute. However, God has been so gracious to me today.

My teens greeted me warmly. One of my teens brought my lunch from the kitchen. Several of my teens carried boxes and organized room to help all the other teens pack for camp. One of my coworkers helped me get coolant. Another coworker pick up extra clothes. Another coworker made a list of other things kids need. Another coworker dropped off forms for camp. One of my teens braided my hair for camp. One of my teens called me, mom and my mom grandma (weird, but enduring). Two of the custodial women helped me look at my car. My roommates picked me up from work. I had dinner with them and one of my favorite families from church. My roommate gave me a magnet.

I’m not going to lie and say, now I am not concerned about my car anymore. I am concerned. I still don’t want to pay money to fix my radiator. However, God in a really great way, took my eyes off of what could have easily broken me down.

God, I quickly forget your mercies. How they are new for me as the sun’s dawn daily. Thank you for always radiating light into darkness. As, I wait patiently remind me to look to You as Provider, Grace Giver, and Friend. You are always enough.

Amen

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