Day 9: Reading List

I have excluded my school books for obvious reasons

  • Romans
  • Jayber Crow by Wendell Berry
  • Half a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
  • Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng

Day 8: Most Persistent Thoughts

I didn’t write this because, my thoughts are often inconsistent, but I will tell you what has been on my mind this evening. In Galatians, there is a call to “bear one another’s burdens”. When I have heard this phrase used, it was an admonition to share in the carrying of other’s burdens. The same way that Christ undertook the burden of sin from us.

However, my struggle is allowing people to carry it for me. I would let something crush me completely before, I called for someone to carry it for me. Carrying other people’s loads feels instinctual. Allowing someone to carry mine feels sick-inducing. I don’t know how to let people in because I don’t. Everyone is held by a tether where I slowly and incrementally draw them close, never knowing what minor mistake or mishap will release all the slack.

My most persistent thoughts are questions?

  • Why am I so resistant to letting people in?
  • How does someone allow others to share in their burden?
  • Is this the cause of my loneliness?

Day 7: Meaning Behind My Blog Name

Life does not progress in a linear fashion. There are assumptions on how life should be ordered, but the older I get the more I realize that’s not going to happen. However, I am grateful. Life is nonlinear and I’m grateful for it.

It’s my nonlinearlife.

If you want to know more about it. Start at the beginning when I have kids with four other women.

Day 5: 10 Songs I LOVE Right Now

Some of these songs are explicit. I’ve put an E if they are.

  1. Creature by Penny & Sparrow
  2. Lemon by N.E.R.D. featuring Rihanna (E)
  3. Safe Retreat by Kings Kaleidoscope featuring Braille
  4. Humbug Mountain Song by Fruit Bats
  5. Seven Swans by Sufjan Stevens
  6. Even When I’m at My Darkest by Ascend the Hill featuring Dustin Kensurue
  7. Green by Lee McDerment
  8. Oh Light by the Liturgists
  9. Open Up by the Brilliance
  10. Time Capsule by Little Simz (E)

Day 4: What am I Afraid Of

Last night was my first night in a new home. Hurricane Harvey pushed me out of my former home and into a season of transition. My transitional place felt like home. It was weird, but I could have stayed there forever amidst the people and the work.

Currently, I am most afraid of this new season and new people. I am afraid of opening up and sharing myself and my life with them. In the five years, I have lived in Houston, I have moved 3 times in 18 months at Casa, 3 times in 9 months in transition, and 3 times in 3 years. I have lived with 15 different people on beds and couches and rooms. I like change, but only through the background of foundationally consistent behaviors.

I need something to call home. I am scared of never finding that.

Day 3: My Favorite Quote

Biblical Quote:

A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Life Quote: “live simply, love extravagantly”