haunt

Going home has gotten better these past ten years. Dread doesn’t linger in my consciousness anymore. Unless I see my dad. In the 8 days I was home, I saw my dad twice. Once at my sister’s graduation party and again at her graduation. We never conversed. I barely even looked at him. In the…

Transition Post 3

Limbo. Middle. Purgatory. I don’t know if I am meant to continue placing things on the wall or taking them down. My life seems to be at a standstill. A conscientious one all the same but nevertheless a standstill. History might be repeating itself, but I don’t have to. I read through posts in 2014…

The 2nd X

The last significant interaction I had with my father happened in 2014. I had just lost my job at Casa. I was homeless, carless, and finishing my first semester of seminary. My dad promised to bring a car for me that upcoming Saturday. I waited at a Starbucks on Buffalo Speedway doing homework, trying to…

Embodied Death

Jesus had a body. Jesus is a body.  Jesus’ hands washed feet. Jesus’ mouth taught friends. Jesus’ feet walked with friends.  Jesus’ hands folded.  Jesus’ heart raced as his mouth prayed. Jesus’ cheek was kissed. Jesus’ body was arrested. Jesus’ ears heard accusations. Jesus’ eyes were covered. Jesus’ face was punched. Jesus’ body was transported….

Displacement

God, In Harvey’s ending, many people, for the first time, considered what it means to be displaced. I did not. 2014 raced through my head. I saw the hand of believers move to serve me, yet I focused on the depression of that year. Remembering the August night spent in my car, terrified and alone. I dwelled…

Memories of My Father

I hear my friends talk about their fathers. They talk about their quirks and likes. How their dad always uses a certain type of pen and when they see that pen they think of him. They reflect on stories or mentos and karaoke, homecomings and weddings, projects and just being there. My anger at my father…

Lenten Prayer #10: Spring

Father,  You make all things new. I remember reading Genesis 1. Your Spirit hovered the earth. You felt oppressive. I felt oppressed, but the light is not bad. Your Light is not either. I welcome the sunshine spring. Knowing that the death of the seed really was its pathway into resurrection. Into the new life as…

Lenten Prayer #3: Triune God

God, Holy One arrayed in majesty before man could whisper majestic. Father present with the Son and the Holy Spirit in the Godhead. Three in One. May, I embrace your divine beauty on unity. May, I behold the splendor of your majesty. May, I understand You more and continue to marvel at your mystery. Teach…