To Be in Love

I think of all the ones I’ve ever loved, sincerely and purely and wholly. In time, it convolutes. Depravity is not me but with me and sometimes in me. I deeply desire to love in excess without ill motive. Why is it so hard? Why do I fool myself into thinking I can? Why do … More To Be in Love

November 27

Tell us about a blog post you didn’t publish. Currently, there are 25 blogs sitting in my draft box. As I look over them they fall into two categories of why they are not published: too personal and too controversial.  Relatable and ambiguous. If I could describe myself and my writing style in two words … More November 27

November 22

Thanksgiving. What are you most thankful for? Life seems like a series of laments in certain seasons. Nevertheless, I am thankful for what feels like a human experience. I don’t care for fame or notoriety. I care to know the goodness of love from God and others. I have been loved really well this year … More November 22

November 2

When did you first know you were truly loved? This is a hard and complex question. I will answer it as best I can. I cognitively know I am loved. I struggle with always knowing that affectively. I cognitively know the love of God. He is faithful to me and has loved me so deeply … More November 2

A Pleasant Haunting

Pitchfork: Considering you had a distant relationship, were you at all surprised that her death hit you so hard? SS: Yeah. In the moment, I was stoic and phlegmatic and practical, but in the months following I was manic and frantic and disparaging and angry. They always talk about the science of bereavement, and how … More A Pleasant Haunting

Disconnected Ramblings on Love’s Presence, Absence, & False Form

It seems that all my friends are in seasons, where love is raining down in giant drops of warmth and relief and joy. It is a time to dance in the rain; I feel like I am drowning in it. Most days, it is enough to keep me afloat, but lately watching love in its … More Disconnected Ramblings on Love’s Presence, Absence, & False Form

December Blogtember

If you have followed my blog at all this year, thank you. I write from my heart and experience. However, I know I hyperfocus on the melancholy and complexity of simple things. It’s a flaw. This year has been difficult for me. The last time, I had a year this struggle-ridden a friend sent me … More December Blogtember

Simple

I was in Seattle. I had found myself haphazardly sitting in a Mediterranean restaurant drinking mango lemonade. Reading Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline. It was the chapter titled, Simplicity. Life was not chaotic at the time, but it was regimented and oriented in a way that made me relentlessly busy. I felt the Lord breathe this phrase … More Simple

Tuesday

Tuesdays begin early. Alarm ringing at 5:30am, telling me I have 30 minutes more of rest before I need to get up. School begins in an hour and a half. You know 7:00am is real early to discuss when the union between soul and body. I love it. By the time, my mind arrives my … More Tuesday

Solo Vacations

It only took a day for me to find out, I don’t vacation well. I make hasty decisions. When I think back to adult decisions I have made, I have never spent more than 5 minutes before I have said yes. I know I should be a better Christian and “pray about it”, but God gives … More Solo Vacations