Oft, I am depressed and lonely. Melancholy is how I naturally orient myself in a broken and tragic world. Deep inhale. To some degree that’s totally and completely okay. My philosophic worldview allows for a destructive force to exist in opposition to Beauty. This force finds itself in me and creates inner conflict. Shit, sometimes it is … More Realer
What’s crazy about this post is that I have had it written since November 8th. I opened it on December 31st at 2am, for one last view before it posted on January 1st and everything changed. What was written prior were the musings of a dog licking their wounds that were entirely avoidable. What follows … More Keep Forgiving
A desire to be seen, heard, known, and loved can become so esurient that it will feed on whatever brings it food, even if it is poison. I ate poison because I was ravenous. If it hadn’t been for people pumping my stomach, I would have surely died. At the end of a difficult (as … More A Thrill of Hope
It seems that all my friends are in seasons, where love is raining down in giant drops of warmth and relief and joy. It is a time to dance in the rain; I feel like I am drowning in it. Most days, it is enough to keep me afloat, but lately watching love in its … More Disconnected Ramblings on Love’s Presence, Absence, & False Form
Rebuilding your life after a hurricane tears it apart takes time. It only takes a drive through my old neighborhood to remind me of that. I woke up early this morning to drive the 35 minutes from Katy to Houston to see my former home. Last night last year was the last night I would … More A Year After Hurricane Harvey
Father, A sleeping desire was nestled today. Motherhood has always been a sure desire for me. I could not imagine a life without children to love and care for. Matrimony would be nice, motherhood is my heart. To care for, to love, to serve, to be silly, to run, to learn, to grow, to correct, … More Lenten Prayer #5: Mothering
The predominant culture suggests normative black features are not attractive. Because of this in the dating realm, black women finish dead last. OKCupid has a study affirming this. While, it is not explicitly stated: “men find black women unattractive”. My assumption is that they don’t. Rounded noses and darker skin are not particularly “in”. Full lips … More Race, Beauty, and Hope
In an instant, emotions billow over me. They consume me. It’s scary. A simple tugboat amid the crashing waves, I am jolted into a storm threatening to capsize my humble vessel. These storms persist over weeks and months. Lighter rain pours, but this is not relief. After a four month midnight, overcast comes. I welcome it. I … More Gracious to Me
There is a scene in the Hunchback of Notre Dame that has haunted me since I was six. The Festival of Fools is transpiring. They are revealing the distorted faces of participants. They get to Quasimodo. Esmeralda grips his face and realizes Quasi is not wearing a mask. With his distorted face, he is crowned … More Quasimodo is a Person!
Typically, I don’t make resolutions. A yearlong commitment to anything seems a bit drastic. However, the previous statement is just well crafted coding for my personal laziness and desire for a lack of accountability. So here are my 2017 Resolutions. To have a more consistent view of God. When life is good my perspective on … More 2017 Resolutions
I opened up my Bible for the first time in 4 months. It was open most of the semester for the sake of studying and knowing, but not for being. Not for the maintenance of a relationship with God. I don’t know what prompted reading it. Perhaps a midnight prayer? I only read 5 verses: … More The Creation Story
I love God. I love music. I love that I serve God who loves music. I love that there is music about God. Unfortunately, in a world where Contemporary Christian Music (CCM) and Gospel dominate, it is hard to find all other artists who express a love for God in a manner that elevates musicality … More Music Monday: It’s Not Enough by the Modern Post
Much of human relationships hinges on trust. We disclose tiny bits of information to test the waters and see if we can trust other people. Sometimes, we are thrown head first into situations that require that we quickly trust in someone else’s abilities. It is scary, because we don’t know if it will pan out … More Do You Trust Me?
I believe there is a clock, that knows when my payday is. As my payday approaches, without fail something goes extremely wrong, causing me to shell out a large sum of money ($200-$500) to pay for it to be fixed. Air conditioning, tires, spark plugs and coils. Today it is my cell phone. While, in … More Every Two Weeks
Man, I haven’t written in a while. Being the head of a household is a lot of work. I don’t think I have had a night of uninterrupted sleep in weeks. Part of this is an update and part of it is pure catharsis and part is confession. Essentially, I love my job. I am … More Update, Catharsis, and Confession
Truth time: I haven’t been to church in over a month. I have watched Buckhead Church’s services online, but I haven’t walking into a service and sat down in over a month. I wonder if God is disappointed in me? I have no need to wonder. I am sure he is. How can I consider … More Forsaking the Brethren (While Doing God’s Will do You Ever Lose Sight of God?)